Nowhere does the Bible say that the husband should be the head of his wife. Rather, Paul insists that the husband is already the head of his wife, and therefore of his household. This is a fact, an unchangeable reality.

The only question is, How will the husband, as head of his wife, exercise leadership, as Christ leads the church and as a head leads its body?

We shall address this question at some length, for most men do not know how to lead in a Christ-like fashion. Indeed, most of us don’t really know how to lead at all!

Let us begin by glancing at how the American Heritage Dictionary defines the word “lead”: “Transitive: 1. To show the way to by going in advance; conduct, escort, or direct…. Intransitive: 1. To be first; be ahead. 2. To go first as a guide.”

Leaders go first. They set the pattern, show the way, provide an example, just like Jesus (John 13:15; 1 Peter 2:21).

Husbands should, therefore, show their wives what it means to desire God first, to trust Him fully, to follow Him faithfully. They will set the pace in faith, hope, and love.

Beginning with strict self-denial, they will exemplify discipline in every aspect of life: Eating, sleeping, speech, recreation, exercise – even sex! By observing her husband, a wife should be able to know Jesus better.

When trials come, a husband will turn first to God in confident prayer, thus giving comfort to his wife. In good times, he will offer the first word of thanksgiving. He will be the first to apologize, and the first to forgive.

In short: He will lead by example.